How Do You Know Your Wife is Cheating

Or, "If I call her every day at noon, she won't get suspicious. A friend of mine's suspicions grew when he heard his wife irritably yell, "Good Christ! Every evening -- like clockwork -- he comes home, asks about dinner and walks the dog. Now, that ritual is being messed with. He needs a shower as soon as he walks in the door.

Body language expert Judi James reveals the clues a woman gives when she is cheating.

Or he pours himself two fingers of scotch when that's usually reserved for weekends only. Typically, you'd hop in the car together and be on your way. But recently she finds a myriad of reasons to have a few minutes alone -- and a need to take her own car. And you know he hasn't said anything like that since he was pledging a fraternity. Having an affair -- it's no secret -- can make people feel young and impulsive again and that can spill over into other behaviors.

A little something from Vicky's Secret just for you? Funny, he's always claimed that lingerie doesn't do much for him. His affair has reawakened his libido and, ironically, he'd like it to do the same for you. You smile at the waiter, and he goes off. He knows you're a friendly sort -- didn't he always love that about you?

Now that he's having an affair, he knows it's not so far-fetched that you might, too. She's on an affair-fueled, guilt-mitigating mission to casually justify extramarital attractions. You sadly report your best friend's husband is cheating. Instead of sharing your dismay, he becomes defensive. Plot lines that would have formerly piqued her interest now make her visibly uncomfortable. They are generally more inclined to open up about their thoughts and feelings than men are, and while husbands may hold back in an effort to avoid what they perceive as "nagging," wives rarely demonstrate the same behavior.

How to Catch a Cheating Spouse

Note a change in her appearance. The longer a couple stays married, the more both spouses tend to let themselves go. If your wife suddenly dyes her hair and spruces herself up, she might be trying to make herself look good for someone new. Women usually try to look their absolute bests at the start of a new relationship, so if your wife is suddenly making considerably more effort in terms of her appearance, it stands to reason that there might be a new relationship in her life.

Note, however, that there is some chance that your wife could be doing this for your benefit.

Signs You Have A Cheating Wife - AskMen

If she senses a lack of heat or chemistry between the two of you and wants to remedy the problem, she might try to make herself seem more appealing to you. Watch out for shopping sprees. Take a good look at what she brings home in her shopping bags. If she buys new clothes in excess, she might be trying to show them off to someone—especially if those clothes are revealing or if she buys more lingerie.


A big sign can be if your wife is buying sexy lingerie but not wearing them in your bedroom, or if she is buying attractive clothes but never wearing them in front of you. Pay attention if she starts working out at the gym. If your wife takes a sudden interest in shaping up even though she never showed much desire to do so before, she might be trying to make her body look more appealing to a new guy in her life. Understand, of course, that this is not necessarily a dead giveaway.

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She might genuinely be trying to get herself in shape for valid reasons, especially if her doctor has recently informed her about possible health risks, if a favorite dress no longer fits, or if the new year just started and working out is on her list of resolutions. Take note of how often she showers "at the gym. A cheating wife will often shower before she greets you at home to cover the scent of the other man.

Marriage & Divorce : Signs Your Wife Is Cheating

Most spouses get accustomed to the way their counterparts smell. If I find another man's clothes in my house, is that a sign that my wife is cheating on me? If the clothes don't belong to your or anyone that lives in your house, then how would they have gotten there? Do you have children? Ask them if they know whose clothes they are. If it's only you and your wife living together, then chances are she knows who they belong to.

Not Helpful 7 Helpful The topic of cheating is difficult for everyone to address, but if you think your wife is cheating, you have to talk about it. Don't candy coat anything, but don't be aggressive. Be prepared for whatever response she gives. Not Helpful 20 Helpful This could be a simple act of wanting to spend more time with you uninterrupted. Or she could be hiding something. Try to pick up on other signs that could indicate something is going on. If there are none, you probably shouldn't worry. Not Helpful 3 Helpful If your wife suddenly isn't allowing you to see her phone, it should be addressed.

Express your concerns with her and tell her how it makes you feel when she does it. Ask why she feels the secrecy is necessary, and let her know it is creating suspicion and mistrust in your marriage. Not Helpful 11 Helpful Try kissing her yourself. Ask her if there is a reason why she doesn't want to kiss you, and if there is anything you could do.

Some people aren't that comfortable with physical affection.

Others become less attracted to their spouse over the course of marriage. Not Helpful 12 Helpful What if my wife accuses me of seeing someone else only to hide her guilt? This is a red flag in every way. Even if she is not cheating, she clearly does not trust you and this will drive her to behavior she would not consider squaring with her own set of values. Put another way, if she suspects you are cheating, her focus is no longer on her moral conduct, but yours. This leaves her vulnerable to advances by other men, and vulnerable to acting on the natural interest we all have in members of the opposite sex that we would never dream of acting on.

Not Helpful 19 Helpful There isn't really a way of exactly knowing unless you confront them with a open and honest discussion about the relationship. If you have a gut feeling they are and they've changed in the ways of hiding their phone, passwords on phones, computers, not sleeping in the same bed or sex has become different, then maybe something is going on. Try to sit down and have a talk with them and express your concerns. Never accuse without proof. Not Helpful 1 Helpful If you're ready for your discovery, whether its a good or bad outcome, then yes.

But if you haven't decided what to do once you find out the truth, then you may need some more time, and may not want to know the truth yet. Once you do find out that your spouse is cheating, make sure you're healthy and financially secure enough to leave your spouse, or that you are able to try to fix and improve your relationship.

If, however, you find out that your spouse is not cheating, then you will need to question yourself as to why you suspected your spouse in the first place. Not Helpful 21 Helpful My wife goes out almost every night and I don't tell the kids. Ask your wife where she is going and what she is doing - not in an accusatory or controlling way, just say you're wondering what's been going on.

Ask if she would be willing to switch it up sometimes so you could go out with your friends while she stays home - see how she reacts. To have a successful relationship, there needs to be trust and honesty, and you both need to be fair and considerate toward each other. Not Helpful 9 Helpful If it's unusual for her and there's no other apparent reason, maybe. But there could be other reasons, like hormonal reasons, tiredness, or not being that attracted to you anymore which doesn't necessarily entail cheating. You should try talking with her about it.

Not Helpful 1 Helpful 8. What will I do when my wife is always having the last say and I think she's cheating? Answer this question Flag as What does it mean if I try kissing my wife then she pushes me away which never happened in the past.

Don't Let A Nasty Surprise Happen To You

Everything I did that with her is becoming a problem now. What does that mean?

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